# Good Vibrations...
This is Patsy Wynne inviting you to share the next hour with me... enjoying my choice of music... which sometimes surprises me... and always delights... HELLO to whoever’s listening in hospital... and to those who may be listening online... WELCOME to you too!
Today I’m thinking about MEN...are they really from MARS? Well, I’ll be contributing my thoughts on that... in between the records... which I hope will make you smile... as you recall happy memories... or simply lift your spirits...
#1 Buttons and Bows... Doris Day
Ok... honestly... and I am talking to women here... what do you think of men? Well... that may depend of your age and experience of life... from the romantic notion of some handsome Knight on a white charger, looking like Kevin Costner or Richard Gere, coming to your rescue... to the raw sexuality of Charlotte Bronte’s Heathcliffe... or the brooding mystery of Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre... all very romantic. Or maybe you think of them as great, hairy beasts with huge appetites and disgusting habits... to be avoided as far as possible! However you think of men... and if you think men and women are basically just the same... you’d be missing something that could mean the difference between a long and loving relationship... and a series of affairs that always end in breakup. So maybe there’s something important to be learned about the differences between men and women... as though they are from different planets... that can be likened to Mars and Venus...
#2 I Hate Men... Kiss me Kate
Or... Is There Life on Mars?... David Bowie
So I’ve been reading this book... Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... it’s not new... been out about 20 years... so you may have read it... but it does make some very pertinent observations on the differences between the sexes. According to the author, John Gray, not only do men and women think differently... but react emotionally in quite different ways.
#3 Let’s call the whole thing off... Ella and Louis
So it’s not surprising that men and women find it so difficult to live together! Can’t live with ‘em... can’t live without ‘em... can’t kill ‘em... as some comedian said. Because sometimes we‘re so driven to distraction by that one person we thought would fulfil our every desire... we really do feel like throttling them... don’t we? Don’t do it... it’s not worth it! So you could just read this book... but in the meantime... I’ll give you some pointers that could stop you committing murder. And the first thing is... men like to think BIG... and they think that by giving you the biggest gift... diamond ring... surprise holiday... marriage... they can score high points... and they assume their woman will be satisfied with this for some time. However... men listen up now... any woman will tell you... this does not compute! Because women really need many Little Acts on a regular basis to reassure them that their man is thinking of them all the time... even though that may not be true... and often a man’s philosophy is... when I’m not with the one I love, I love the one I’m with...
#4 Love The One You’re With... Crosby, Stills & Nash
Ok girls... simmer down... after all... when god told Adam to Go forth and multiply... Adam passed that on to all men... who tend to take it literally. So it’s not their fault... its genetic... its Martian to want to sow seed... and its Venus’s job to make him want to keep coming home and protect his own. What a game! All part of Life’s rich pattern...as my Granddad used to say.
#5 You Don’t Understand Me... Roxette
or... I Hate You so much Right Now... Kelis
or... I Hate You so much Right Now... Kelis
So how do we stop this ‘battle of the sexes’ in its tracks... before it all ends in tears? Let’s take an example of how men and women react under stress. According to this book... men are solution oriented... but they rarely ask for advice... because they think they have to solve everything themselves... and have you ever been driving with a man who won’t ask for directions when he’s obviously lost? Men usually withdraw into themselves while they work out an answer to their problem... often literally retreating into their cave... the office, workshop or garden shed... where they can think more clearly. Now this can infuriate ‘her indoors’... because she wants to talk about it... and she can’t work out her stress until she does... which is why women always need other women... family members and friends... who will listen... through the torrent of feelings and tears... to commiserate... console... and comfort in her distress. This author of this book writes that as the woman tries to get closer through talking about her feelings... the man retreats, literally... which is a major source of conflict between men and women. So what’s new? Well... understanding the issue would help...
#6 Its Impossible... Perry Como /
or... Someone Like You... Adele
or... Someone Like You... Adele
Don’t forget that we always welcome your requests for a particular record, or a mention of someone or something special... and if you have an interesting or funny story to tell, connected to a special song... we’d love to hear from you. You can contact Radio Glan Clwyd by phone on 01745-584229... or, if you’re here in hospital, on Extension 4360, or ask one of the volunteers going around the wards. You can also listen online at... www.rygc.co.uk
#7 Venus in Blue Jeans... Bobby Vee or Mark Wynter
Those of you who’ve hear my show before will know that I usually give an introduction to EFT... so now I’d like you to think about something that winds you up about your nearest and dearest... whatever it is... the way he spends so much time in his shed, or watching TV... or how she always complains about little things and seems to blame you for everything... how emotional is that?
· Now rate that feeling on a scale of 0 to 10... where 10 is the worst you can feel. (Write down the number if you can.... and a word to describe that feeling.) And while you get into that feeling... just start tapping the fleshy side of your hand... below the little finger... we call that the Karate Chop... and take a long deep breath. Keep tapping and say out loud... if you can..
Even though I feel ... (whatever it is you’re feeling)... I completely accept myself as I am...
Even though I’m feeling................ I love myself anyway... I’m doing the best I can...
Even though I can’t help feeling.............. every time he/she does............... I forgive myself for holding onto this feeling... it’s not my fault...
Take another deep breath... and now we start tapping around the face..
1st point... right between the eyebrows... just above the nose... tap with 3-4 fingers... and say... This feeling of... frustration...
2nd point... at the side of the eye right on the corner... either side... and repeat... This feeling of... resentment...
3rd point... under the eye on the cheekbone... This feeling of... annoyance...
4th point... right under the nose... repeat... This feeling of... rage...
5th point... in the cleft of the chin right under the lip... repeat... This feeling of... fear...
6th point... collarbone... at the top of the chest... repeat... This feeling of... anger...
7th point... top of head... and repeat... This feeling... who needs it?
· Now take a deep breath and start tapping the side of your hand again while you think of a different response. Just suppose that the love of your life were really an alien... with different ways of doing things... how compassionate could you feel? Got it?
· Now we’ll repeat the whole sequence saying... on alternate points... (REPEAT POINTS)
Even though I have this feeling of.................. I can choose to feel love and compassion...
Top of Head... I can choose to feel compassion... because I love and accept him/her... and I forgive him/her... as I forgive myself for not understanding... because he is from Mars... or she is from Venus...
(This a PROCESS and when you’re on your own you can explore any emotional issue and see what thoughts and memories come to you... maybe old grievances... what do they feel like? What’s the emotion? Acknowledge that feeling and say it out loud... while you continue tapping the same points around the head and on the hand. Take responsibility for you own health and if it gets too emotional just keep tapping and taking deep breaths. Or you could find an EFT practitioner like me to help you through the process.)
#8 The Folks who Live On The Hill... Peggy Lee
That’s for all those who’ve managed to reconcile their Mars and Venus differences and found peace and harmony through many years together.
Actually... what the author of this book is describing... are masculine and feminine attributes... which we all have to varying degrees. So some women have more masculine traits than other women... which makes them more intellectual... and can make them better business women than mothers... while other women could do with some more Martian assertiveness to get on in life. Similarly... some men have more feminine traits than others... which makes them less Martian... and can show up in the sensitivity of artists and poets. So when we talk about a man getting in touch with his feminine side... show some appreciation... he’s really trying to understand what it’s all about..
#9 Canon in D... Pachalbel
(FADE& talk over... ) Whenever you’re feeling disturbed... or restless... give yourself a break. Now and then... take a walk in nature... somewhere quiet... by yourself... if you can... or go somewhere beautiful... in your mind... maybe some special memory... of a place where you feel safe... at peace with yourself... breathe deeply... slowing down each breath... relaxing into yourself... noticing whatever you see... or hear... anything you sense... without any judgement... slowing down the mind... all those thoughts whirling around in your mind... just let them float way... like little puffs of smoke... slowing down... relaxing the body... breathing slow and easy... just BEING... with yourself... and notice how that feels... with a peaceful mind... and love in your heart...
#10 The Greatest Love of All... George Benson
I just listened to those lyrics... really for the first time... which describe the love for oneself that’s essential before we can truly love another. How can we love anyone else if we don’t love ourselves? Wouldn’t it be great if all children were taught this... if we could cultivate love in our lives... instead of fear and suspicion... how about it? Make Love not War...
#11 Love Is The Sweetest Thing... Peter Skellern
or.. Loving you... Minnie Riperton
A woman thrives on Love... and when she feels loved... she gives abundant loving energy to others... but if she begins to feel unloved... unsupported... or devalued... her energy inevitably crashes... and then she needs as much love... through listening... understanding and reassurance as those around can give her until she’s rejuvenated. The message to men is... You simply have to love her...
#12 How To Handle A Woman... Camelot
It’s all very simple... men and women naturally complement each other... what one needs, the other can give... when they understand how. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel loved and cherished... and if they don’t feel that, they’ll become compulsively responsible, leading to exhaustion from giving too much. Or they’ll over-compensate with over-eating , over-drinking or over-spending... or find someone else to cherish them... which sets up other emotional problems. On the other hand... men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed... so when a man doesn’t feel needed... if his cherished partner can do everything for herself... he gradually becomes more passive and less energised... until he feels he has nothing to give to the relationship. When that happens... he can re-energise through his work... a hobby... or even another relationship. Not to be needed, is a slow death for a man... and a man can unhappily become a couch potato... with the inevitable consequences of depression and ill-health. So the message to women is... a super-woman doesn’t need a man... so let your man know he really is needed... and value him for what he does for you.
I think the message is... that when we value the other sex... or anyone at all... for who they are... without any expectations... and when we respect our differences... we gain far more than we may realise. As the French put it... Vive La Difference... and they should know... with their masculine and feminine language!
#13 Love Changes Everything... Climie Fischer
I’d like to thank you all for accompanying me on this journey today and I trust you’ve enjoyed my take on Life, the Universe and Everything... which I hope will help on your journey through life... and this is Patsy Wynne signing off for today... from Radio Glan Clwyd... and remember... Always look on the bright side...
Always look on the Bright side of Life... Monty Python...
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