ARE MEN REALLY FROM MARS?

#          Good Vibrations...

This is Patsy Wynne inviting you to share the next hour with me... enjoying my choice of music... which sometimes surprises me... and always delights... HELLO to whoever’s listening in hospital... and to those who may be listening online... WELCOME to you too!

Today I’m thinking about MEN...are they really from MARS? Well, I’ll be contributing my thoughts on that... in between the records... which I hope will make you smile... as you recall happy memories... or simply lift your spirits...

#1        Buttons and Bows...  Doris Day

Ok... honestly... and I am talking to women here... what do you think of men? Well... that may depend of your age and experience of life... from the romantic notion of some handsome Knight on a white charger, looking like Kevin Costner or Richard Gere, coming to your rescue... to the raw sexuality of Charlotte Bronte’s Heathcliffe... or the brooding mystery of Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre... all very romantic. Or maybe you think of them as great, hairy beasts with huge appetites and disgusting habits... to be avoided as far as possible! However you think of men... and if you think men and women are basically just the same... you’d be missing something that could mean the difference between a long and loving relationship... and a series of affairs that always end in breakup.  So maybe there’s something important to be learned about the differences between men and women... as though they are from different planets... that can be likened to Mars and Venus...

#2        I Hate Men... Kiss me Kate

Or...     Is There Life on Mars?... David Bowie

So I’ve been reading this book... Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus... it’s not new... been out about 20 years... so you may have read it... but it does make some very pertinent observations on the differences between the sexes.  According to the author, John Gray, not only do men and women think differently... but react emotionally in quite different ways. 

#3        Let’s call the whole thing off... Ella and Louis

So it’s not surprising that men and women find it so difficult to live together!  Can’t live with ‘em... can’t live without ‘em... can’t kill ‘em... as some comedian said. Because sometimes we‘re so driven to distraction by that one person we thought would fulfil our every desire... we really do feel like throttling them... don’t we?  Don’t do it... it’s not worth it!  So you could just read this book... but in the meantime... I’ll give you some pointers that could stop you committing murder. And the first thing is... men like to think BIG... and they think that by giving you the biggest gift... diamond ring... surprise holiday... marriage... they can score high points... and they assume their woman will be satisfied with this for some time. However... men listen up now... any woman will tell you... this does not compute!  Because women really need many Little Acts on a regular basis to reassure them that their man is thinking of them all the time... even though that may not be true... and often a man’s philosophy is... when I’m not with the one I love, I love the one I’m with...

#4        Love The One You’re With... Crosby, Stills & Nash

Ok girls... simmer down... after all... when god told Adam to Go forth and multiply... Adam passed that on to all men... who tend to take it literally.   So it’s not their fault... its genetic... its Martian to want to sow seed... and its Venus’s job to make him want to keep coming home and protect his own. What a game! All part of Life’s rich pattern...as my Granddad used to say.

#5        You Don’t Understand Me... Roxette    
 or... I Hate You so much Right Now... Kelis

So how do we stop this ‘battle of the sexes’ in its tracks... before it all ends in tears? Let’s take an example of how men and women react under stress. According to this book... men are solution oriented... but they rarely ask for advice... because they think they have to solve everything themselves... and have you ever been driving with a man who won’t ask for directions when he’s obviously lost?  Men usually withdraw into themselves while they work out an answer to their problem... often literally retreating into their cave... the office, workshop or garden shed... where they can think more clearly. Now this can infuriate ‘her indoors’... because she wants to talk about it... and she can’t work out her stress until she does... which is why women always need other women... family members and friends... who will listen... through the torrent of feelings and tears... to commiserate... console... and comfort in her distress. This author of this book writes that as the woman tries to get closer through talking about her feelings... the man retreats, literally... which is a major source of conflict between men and women. So what’s new?  Well... understanding the issue would help...

#6        Its Impossible... Perry Como /         
or... Someone Like You... Adele

Don’t forget that we always welcome your requests for a particular record, or a mention of someone or something special... and if you have an interesting or funny story to tell, connected to a special song... we’d love to hear from you.   You can contact Radio Glan Clwyd by phone on 01745-584229... or, if you’re here in hospital, on Extension 4360, or ask one of the volunteers going around the wards. You can also listen online at... www.rygc.co.uk

#7        Venus in Blue Jeans... Bobby Vee or Mark Wynter

Those of you who’ve hear my show before will know that I usually give an introduction to EFT... so now I’d like you to think about something that winds you up about your nearest and dearest... whatever it is... the way he spends so much time in his shed, or watching TV... or how she always complains about little things and seems to blame you for everything... how emotional is that?  

·         Now rate that feeling on a scale of 0 to 10... where 10 is the worst you can feel. (Write down the number if you can.... and a word to describe that feeling.)  And while you get into that feeling... just start tapping the fleshy side of your hand... below the little finger... we call that the Karate Chop... and take a long deep breath. Keep tapping and say out loud... if you can..

Even though I feel ... (whatever it is you’re feeling)...  I completely accept myself as I am...

Even though I’m feeling................ I love myself anyway... I’m doing the best I can...

Even though I can’t help feeling.............. every time he/she does............... I forgive myself for holding onto this feeling... it’s not my fault...

Take another deep breath... and now we start tapping around the face.. 

1^st point... right between the eyebrows... just above the nose... tap with 3-4 fingers... and say... This feeling of... frustration...

2^nd point... at the side of the eye right on the corner... either side... and repeat... This feeling of... resentment...

3^rd point... under the eye on the cheekbone... This feeling of... annoyance...

4^th point... right under the nose... repeat... This feeling of... rage...

5^th point... in the cleft of the chin right under the lip... repeat... This feeling of... fear...

6^th point... collarbone... at the top of the chest... repeat... This feeling of... anger...

7^th point...  top of head... and repeat... This feeling... who needs it?

·         Now take a deep breath and start tapping the side of your hand again while you think of a different response. Just suppose that the love of your life were really an alien... with different ways of doing things... how compassionate could you feel? Got it?

·         Now we’ll repeat the whole sequence saying... on alternate points... (REPEAT POINTS)

Even though I have this feeling of.................. I can choose to feel love and compassion...

Top of Head...  I can choose to feel compassion... because I love and accept him/her... and I forgive him/her...  as I forgive myself for not understanding... because he is from Mars... or she is from Venus...

 (This a PROCESS and when you’re on your own you can explore any emotional issue and see what thoughts and memories come to you... maybe old grievances... what do they feel like? What’s the emotion? Acknowledge that feeling and say it out loud... while you continue tapping the same points around the head and on the hand.  Take responsibility for you own health and if it gets too emotional just keep tapping and taking deep breaths. Or you could find an EFT practitioner like me to help you through the process.) 

#8         The Folks who Live On The Hill...  Peggy Lee

That’s for all those who’ve managed to reconcile their Mars and Venus differences and found peace and harmony through many years together.

Actually... what the author of this book is describing... are masculine and feminine attributes... which we all have to varying degrees. So some women have more masculine traits than other women... which makes them more intellectual... and can make them better business women than mothers... while other women could do with some more Martian assertiveness to get on in life.   Similarly... some men have more feminine traits than others... which makes them less Martian... and can show up in the sensitivity of artists and poets.  So when we talk about a man getting in touch with his feminine side... show some appreciation... he’s really trying to understand what it’s all about..

#9        Canon in D... Pachalbel  

 (FADE& talk over... )           Whenever you’re feeling disturbed... or restless... give yourself a break.  Now and then... take a walk in nature... somewhere quiet... by yourself... if you can... or go somewhere beautiful... in your mind... maybe some special memory... of a place where you feel safe... at peace with yourself... breathe deeply... slowing down each breath... relaxing into yourself... noticing whatever you see... or hear... anything you sense... without any judgement... slowing down the mind... all those thoughts whirling around in your mind... just let them float way... like little puffs of smoke... slowing down... relaxing the body... breathing slow and easy... just BEING... with yourself... and notice how that feels... with a peaceful mind... and love in your heart...

#10      The Greatest Love of All... George Benson

I just listened to those  lyrics... really for the first time... which describe the love for oneself that’s essential before we can truly love another. How can we love anyone else if we don’t love ourselves?  Wouldn’t it be great if all children were taught this... if we could cultivate love in our lives... instead of fear and suspicion... how about it? Make Love not War...

#11      Love Is The Sweetest Thing... Peter Skellern         

or.. Loving you... Minnie Riperton

A woman thrives on Love... and when she feels loved... she gives abundant loving energy to others... but if she begins to feel unloved... unsupported... or devalued... her energy inevitably crashes... and then she needs as much love... through listening... understanding and reassurance as those around can give her until she’s rejuvenated.  The message to men is... You simply have to love her...

#12      How To Handle A Woman... Camelot

It’s all very simple... men and women naturally complement each other... what one needs, the other can give... when they understand how.  Women are motivated and empowered when they feel loved and cherished... and if they don’t feel that, they’ll become compulsively responsible, leading to exhaustion from giving too much. Or they’ll over-compensate with over-eating , over-drinking or over-spending... or find someone else to cherish them... which sets up other emotional problems.     On the other hand... men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed... so when a man doesn’t feel needed... if his cherished partner can do everything for herself... he gradually becomes more passive and less energised... until he feels he has nothing to give to the relationship. When that happens... he can re-energise through his work... a hobby... or even another relationship. Not to be needed, is a slow death for a man... and a man can unhappily become a couch potato... with the inevitable consequences of depression and ill-health. So the message to women is... a super-woman doesn’t need a man... so let your man know he really is needed... and value him for what he does for you. 

I think the message is... that when we value the other sex... or anyone at all... for who they are... without any expectations... and when we respect our differences... we gain far more than we may realise. As the French put it... Vive La Difference... and they should know... with their masculine and feminine language!

#13      Love Changes Everything... Climie Fischer 

I’d like to thank you all for accompanying me on this journey today and I trust you’ve enjoyed my take on Life, the Universe and Everything... which I hope will help on your journey through life... and this is Patsy Wynne signing off for today... from Radio Glan Clwyd...  and remember... Always look on the bright side...

Always look on the Bright side of Life... Monty Python... 

STORY TIME

THEME:           STORY TIME   

This is Patsy Wynne inviting you to share the next hour with me... enjoying my choice of music... which sometimes surprises me... and always delights... HELLO to whoever’s listening in hospital... and to those who may be listening online... WELCOME to you too!

#          Good Vibrations...

Today I’m thinking about Stories... and don’t we all love stories? From children’s fairy tales to romantic novels... historical drama to science fiction... stories help us make sense of our world and our emotional reactions... Well, I’ll be contributing my thoughts on that... in between the records... which I hope will make you smile... or simply lift your spirits...

I’ve been asking people I know to tell me their story through their own choice of music... and today I’m going to share one woman’s story... told through her favourite songs. Diane tells me that when she was a young mother, the only thing that would calm her first child, Simon, was the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine... which she got heartily sick of! I can add to that memories of my own children singing the very same song lustily on every car journey...

#1        Yellow Submarine... Beatles

Diane’s second child was born to the Beatles song, Michelle, My Belle... after which her daughter was named... now known as Shelly. By the time she had her third child, music had moved on and this was Mathew’s song, which made a refreshing change...

#2        American Pie... Don Maclean

Diane’s story continues.. as her marriage gradually started to collapse, songs became more meaningful... and as she tried to keep her family together... this is an abiding memory...

#3        Love will Keep Us Together... Captain and Tennille

Many of us have been through the pain of a marriage gone sour... when our most personal relationship becomes too difficult to bear... sometimes living in fear of one’s partner... so on reflection this was very appropriate... as breaking up is hard to do...

#4        Breaking Up is Hard to Do... Neil Sedaka

At the time Diane had a beautiful home with a large lounge and conservatory... and she would dance while she cleaned... sing while she ironed... and the Carpenters provided just about the most amazing music for her to do that...

#5        We’ve only just begun... the Carpenters

Don’t forget that we always welcome your requests for a particular record, or a mention of someone or something special... and if you have an interesting or funny story to tell, connected to a special song... we’d love to hear from you.   You can contact Radio Glan Clwyd by phone on 01745-584229... or, if you’re here in hospital, on Extension 4360 or, or ask one of the volunteers going around the wards. You can also listen online at... www.rygc.co.uk

Continuing Diane’s story... eventually she met and fell in love with the man who was to become her second husband... only she was wrestling with her conscience about leaving her marriage, which would disrupt her children’s lives.  This meant leaving, not just an unhappy relationship, but her lovely home... not to mention the financial security... which she’d helped to build up over the years. This next choice was an inspirational song for her at that time... but her mind was not on the dance any more...

#6        One Day I’ll Fly Away... Randy Crawford

Diane wanted to fly away... as we all do at times... but now she was in a new relationship and Life was to be Lived... she started to dance again...

#7        Living La Vida Loca... Ricky Martin

As life began to settle down again for Diane... though never really settled... her new relationship blossomed... and, she says, this is a simple statement of fact... she experienced real love... not what you read about in books... but real nonetheless...

#8        I Will Always Love You... Whitney Houston

Let’s face it... love is the most important thing in life. When you feel loved, you feel so good... when you feel loved, you can do anything... when you feel loved, you are invincible... when you feel loved, you spread that love around, which makes all around you feel happy too...

Diane still loves to move to music... and you just can’t sit still and listen to this one...(Couldn’t find Cool...)

#9        Black Magic Woman... Santana

Now to bring Diane’s life a little more up to date... she now waltzes around the room with her little granddaughter Ruby... to this next song... both shouting out loud with... Ruby, Ruby, Ruby...

#10      Ruby... the Kaiser Chiefs

After many years together... Diane’s wonderful husband died last year... and she still thanks him for the personal power and self esteem he inspired in her... she says... “He believed in me... no if’s... no but’s... and that was for the first time in my life.”

He helped her create her business and through her years of training with nothing but encouragement. He would say to her... “You have a brain in that beautiful head... get on and use it!”

#11      You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings... Bette Midler

I know many women who can relate to Diane’s story... how she felt so put down and undervalued... losing her confidence and self esteem. It’s tragic how relationships that start so romantically can disintegrate into psychological and even physical abuse.  Sadly it often starts in early life... when a young child is ignored or ridiculed for its creative efforts... and told... “That’s nice... go and play”... the message comes across loud and clear... ‘Stop bothering me... you’re not worth listening to... you’re of no account.’  Or, usually from a father... “Haven’t you got something useful to do?”  If only all parents learned how to parent better than their parents did... but usually we’re too young and ignorant to know any better... until it’s too late...

So many people, women especially, grow up desperate to express themselves in some way... but afraid that they’ll ‘show themselves up’...  because often the attitude in the family is... “Who do you think you are?” and  “Don’t get too big for your boots”...  sounds familiar?  Perhaps that was true for Diane... and maybe her first husband treated her in a similar manner... but having survived and overcome her own fears and limiting beliefs... Diane now uses her skills and life experience to help others overcome their self-limiting beliefs... and as life moves on... she is still dancing... and singing...

#12      Silly Love Songs... Paul McCartney

Well... I’d like to thank Diane for her story... which many of us can echo... and even though life can be hard... one thing I’ve learned the hard way is that... life goes on... no matter what...

(Running out of time... so had to cut this out..)

·         One of the therapeutic techniques that I know Diane teaches her clients... as I do... is EFT... because it’s so easy to learn and simple to do for oneself.  And tapping with EFT can change those limiting beliefs that stop us in our tracks... so that we give up on our creativity... whether it’s making music... or art... or writing... or starting a business... thinking... ‘I’ll never be good enough’... ‘Nobody wants to hear me’... ‘Who’d want to buy my pictures anyway?’   

·         We simply tap on what we’re feeling... while we say these things out loud... so if you’d like to follow along with me now... hearing that voice in your head... that somehow reminds you of your mother.. or father... or teacher! How does that feel?  Focus on the emotion... got it? How bad is that feeling on a scale of 1-10... where 10 is really bad?  Maybe write that down so you’ll know how your feeling changes...

·         Start tapping the side of your hand... take a deep breath and say out loud ... if you can... your own phrase... whatever it is... or just repeat after me...

·         Even though I’m useless... mother used to tell me... and she should know... I love myself anyway...

·         Even though I’m wasting my time... Dad told me ... so it must be true... I accept that maybe he was talking to himself...

·         Even though I’ll never be good enough... my teacher told me, in front of the class... but what did she know anyway? I forgive myself for believing that for so long... it’s not my fault...

·         Now repeat that saying... while you keep tapping... EB, SE, UE, UN, CH, CB,

·         Top of Head... Why would I believe that?... who needs it?  Maybe I could just let it go... let it go... just let it go... and now take a long deep breath... that’s right... let it out...

I wonder how bad that feeling emotion is now?  On the 1-10 scale... what is it? did it change at all?  That’s a very quick demonstration... but you can keep repeating that... saying whatever comes into your mind... accepting and loving yourself anyway... with forgiveness... for yourself and others... and see what happens...

TIME: 58.00...

That’s Diane’s story... but everyone has a story... so I’m asking you all now to think about your story and the music that would illustrate it... and if you’d care to put it down on paper and send it to me, Patsy, at Radio Glan Clwyd... I’d be delighted to include it in the show...

I’d like to thank you all for accompanying me on this journey today and I trust you’ve enjoyed my take on Life, the Universe and Everything... and this is Patsy Wynne signing off for today... from Radio Glan Clwyd...  and remember... Always look on the bright side...

#    Always look on the Bright side of Life... Monty Python... 

POWERFUL WOMEN

THEME:           POWERFUL WOMEN

#          Good Vibrations...

This is Patsy Wynne inviting you to share the next hour with me... enjoying my choice of music... which sometimes surprises me... and always delights... HELLO to whoever’s listening in hospital... and to those who may be listening online... WELCOME to you too!

Today I’m thinking about POWERFUL WOMEN... just in the last 100 years... so not counting all the strong women throughout history.... so we won’t mention Boudicca or Elizabeth 1^st... Empress Catherine of Russia or Queen Victoria!  Well, I’ll be contributing my thoughts on that... in between the records... which I hope will make you smile... or simply lift your spirits... and here’s a request for one small woman with a powerful voice... for Rachel...

#1        9 to 5... Dolly Parton

POWERFUL WOMEN... I’m thinking of the suffragettes of 100 years ago... The first Suffragists believed in constitutional campaigning, like issuing leaflets, organising meetings and presenting petitions.  However this campaigning did not have much effect. So in 1903 Emmeline Pankhurst founded a new organisation, the Women's Social and Political Union. Pankhurst thought that the movement would have to become radical and militant if it were going to work. The Daily Mail later gave them the name 'Suffragettes'.  A few historians feel that some of the suffragettes' actions actually damaged their cause. The argument was that the suffragettes should not get the vote because they were too emotional and could not think as logically as men; their violent and aggressive actions were used as evidence in support of this argument. 1912 was a turning point for the Suffragettes in the UK as they turned to using more militant tactics such as chaining themselves to railings, setting fire to mailbox contents, smashing windows and occasionally detonating bombs.

#2        Don’t Rain on My Parade... Barbra Streisand

One famous woman singer/ actress who was around at that time, was Marlene Dietrich... born in Germany 27 December 1901... Dietrich remained popular throughout her long career by continually re-inventing herself. In 1920s Berlin, she acted on the stage and in silent films which brought her international fame a contract with Paramount Pictures in the US. Hollywood films capitalised on her glamour and exotic looks, cementing her stardom and making her one of the highest paid actresses of the era. Dietrich became a US citizen in 1937; during World War II she was a high-profile frontline entertainer. Although she still made occasional films in the post-war years, Dietrich spent most of the 1950s to the 1970s touring the world as a successful show performer... and she died on 6 May 1992.    So let’s hear from her now...

#3        Falling in Love Again... Marlene Dietrich

I’d like to mention Doctor Marie Stopes... who pioneered the use of birth control... and opened the UK's first family planning clinic, in North London on 17 March 1921.  At that time the idea of birth control was shocking and immoral to most people... hardly creditable to young people today!

In the 60’s the ‘feminists’ marched for women’s equality and burned their bras... evidently seen as a restraint rather than support! Foremost among these was Germaine Greer... still going strong. But what do you think of feminists? Do they demean the feminine by taking on aggressive masculine attitudes? Do you think men and women are really just the same... or are there basic differences to the sexes?   In other words... what does it mean to be a woman in the modern world?  Are women still playing out their ‘roles’?  I wonder how many women today are really living out their potential... rather than fulfilling someone else’s expectations? Or is it a tiny minority who are doing what they want... while the rest just carry on as before?

#4        The Lady is a Tramp... Peggy Lee

A delicate blonde, Peggy Lee was born Norma Deloris Egstrom in Jamestown, North Dakota, the seventh of eight children. Her father was Swedish American and her mother Norwegian American.  As a young woman Peggy Lee had her own series on a radio show sponsored by a local restaurant that paid her a "salary" in food... so she literally ‘sang for her supper’. Both during and after her high school years Lee sang for paltry sums on local radio stations. 

One thing I notice about these powerful women... they certainly don’t fall into the ‘normal’ women’s role of housewife...

#5        I Am Woman... Helen Reddy

Thanks to these singers and musicians they sang with... the pop music scene was transformed from what it had been. They laid down the standard for today’s music scene.

 Billie Holiday (born Eleanora Fagan, April 7, 1915 – July 17, 1959) was an American jazz singer and songwriter. Nicknamed "Lady Day" Holiday had a seminal influence on jazz and pop singing. Her vocal style, strongly inspired by jazz instrumentalists, pioneered a new way of manipulating phrasing and tempo. She co-wrote only a few songs, but several of them have become jazz standards, notably "God Bless the Child", "Don't Explain", "Fine and Mellow", and "Lady Sings the Blues".... if you ever saw the movie of her life by that name. She also became famous for singing "Strange Fruit", a protest song which became one of her standards and was made famous with her 1939 recording.

#6        That Old Devil Called Love...  Billie Holiday

Many of these women had to fight their way to success. The history of the oppression of women is long and tragic. So many young women and girls are still being forced into prostitution... and how many... or how few... manage to escape that life through their talents... singing being one way... if the talent is great... and if they have the determination to succeed. Their voice is their salvation... but they also have the resolve to change their lives. Here’s another amazing voice of one who changed her life... the ‘little sparrow’ of Paris... 

#7        No Regrets...   Edith Piaf

I started off thinking about powerful women who’ve contributed to the way women are regarded and treated... such as in Politics... with the first women Prime Ministers... Golda Meir of Israel and Mrs Ghandi of India... not forgetting our own Maggie Thatcher... and who could forget her! But then I began to wonder if they were only powerful because they were conforming to the masculine way of doing things. Were they repressing their feminine side to show they could also wear the trousers?  And as I began to look for suitable music... I realised the effect these women singers have had on music and attitudes... these black American singers who had to fight against prejudice in hotels and restaurants... where they could sing with the band but not be served as a guest!

Those women who’ve had to swim upstream... against the current... striving every inch of the way... to achieve what they want... they become powerful through that striving... getting up again and again when beaten down. They pay dearly in pain, loss and despair... but what an example they leave for others to follow.

#8        Somewhere over the Rainbow...  Judy Garland

Another amazing woman who had to battle addiction and depression... Judy Garland is mostly identified with her role of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz... but sang her heart out in many movies and personal appearances until she died at the age of only 47 in 1969.  In 1999, the American Film Institute placed her among the ten greatest female stars in the history of American cinema.

From those women who escaped from sordid beginnings... Sarah Vaughan was brought up in a religious family. She learned to play piano and sang in the church choir... until, as a teenager, she was drawn to popular music and Jazz... and with her stunning voice soon joined a big band... and what a voice!

#9        Summertime...  Sarah Vaughan

Don’t forget that we always welcome your requests for a particular record, or a mention of someone or something special... and if you have an interesting or funny story to tell, connected to a special song... we’d love to hear from you.   You can contact Radio Glan Clwyd by phone on 01745-584229... or, if you’re here in hospital, on Extension 4360 or ask one of the volunteers going around the wards. You can also listen online at... http://www.rygc.co.uk. And here’s a request for Alex...

#10      Bad Romance... Lady GaGa

Here’s another powerful lady that escaped from a difficult childhood...  Ella Jane Fitzgerald (April 25, 1917 – June 15, 1996), also known as the "First Lady of Song" and "Lady Ella," was an American jazz and song vocalist. With a vocal range spanning three octaves (Db3 to Db6), she was noted for her purity of tone, impeccable diction, phrasing and intonation, and a "horn-like" improvisational ability, particularly in her scat singing.  She is considered to be a notable interpreter of the Great American Songbook.

#11      Mack the Knife...  Ella Fitzgerald                  

I usually introduce EFT at some point... and Emotional Freedom Techniques can certainly help you find your own power... which may have been locked away somewhere... but is really there inside you. You can find out all about it online if you Google EFT... and learn how  process any emotional issues yourself... although you could find an EFT practitioner to help you go through the process.

Many powerful women could be accused of losing their femininity and becoming just as hard, ruthless and calculating as men... and maybe that’s because they’ve had to succeed in a man’s world.  But I believe women can be powerful in their own right... and I believe the root of a woman’s Real Power is LOVE. I think that Pure Love... unconditional love... like snow... is cold and clear... not to be confused with slushy snow... that’s contaminated by watery emotion... and not hot passion that can burn out so quickly. Like snow, love covers over everything... and doesn’t see faults and imperfections. Pure Love... what the Greeks called Agape... principled love reflects awareness... like snow, which reflects the brilliance of the sun’s light from its crystalline essence. Like a blanket, snow insulates the vegetation below... protecting shoots preparing for spring from extreme frost... and love envelops and nurtures through the harsh times.   What I like about a thick snowfall is the way it slows life down... everything grinds to a halt... cars... trains and planes... and although this can be so frustrating to those who have schedules to keep and journeys to make...  when we awaken to a freshly covered landscape... and snow laden trees... on a bright sunny morning... as so often happens after a snowstorm... it really does make us stop and wonder in awe... at the beauty of a snowflake or icicle. And anything that can make us stop and wonder at the beauty of life... is Love... and that’s powerful.

#12      Lady Be Good...  Cleo Laine

After so many American singers... Cleo Laine is British...although her father was Jamaican and her mother English... she was sent to singing and dancing lessons at an early age... but did not take up singing professionally until her mid-twenties. She auditioned successfully for a band led by musician John Dankworth, (who died last year), and married him in 1958. Their careers both together and individually were very successful... and their two children: Alec Dankworth and Jacqui Dankworth, are both internationally successful musicians.

I’d like to thank you all for accompanying me on this journey today and I trust you’ve enjoyed my take on Life, the Universe and Everything... and this is Patsy Wynne signing off for today... from Radio Glan Clwyd...  and remember... Always look on the bright side...

Always look on the Bright side of Life... Monty Python...

PERSONAL LIFE PROCESS COACHING

http://www.youtube.com/embed/XoGSLWvJjBU  

This is the basis of my interview for the 'More To Life' magazine on U-Tube, which some may not have seen or been able to hear properly. However, I realise that what I actually said is not quite what I'd scripted! What I'm aiming to put across is the idea of Life as a Process and that sometimes this process is beyond our comprehension... like trying to construct a cupboard from a flatpack without clear instructions! OK... maybe we can struggle through and hopefully the result will not be too wonky... but how much better the result when you have help from someone who's done it before.  That's Coaching!  I trust you find this interesting... and if so, please feel free to forward to anyone else who may like to read it.

Q 1:    Would you like to introduce yourself and tell us what you do...

My name is Patricia Wynne and I’m a Personal Life Process Coach, primarily using EFT and other Meridian Energy techniques. My aim is to help clients through the difficult times of life and to empower women especially with the confidence to achieve whatever they decide they want in life. 

Q 2:    What qualifies you to offer that?

Like many women of my age, it seems that all my life I’ve been looking after other people. I was brought up in our family guesthouse, so learned about respecting the guests in the house, bringing them morning tea and serving at mealtimes.  After I married, I had 6 children and subsequently a second marriage with 2 step-children, which kept me very busy.  When the children left home and my marriage ended, I didn’t know how I could earn a living, so I ended up as a housekeeper/ nanny and later as a carer for the elderly and infirm.   Finally I moved in with my ageing parents to care for them as my mother had Alzheimer’s and my dad wasn’t coping with her very well.   

Now I know that many people, women especially, will relate to what I’m saying because we are the ones who usually pick up the pieces; we are the ones that do what has to be done. Women often bear the brunt of keeping families together and looking after elderly relatives.  Now I loved my parents and I wanted to look after them to the best of my ability but in reality I was overworked and underpaid with very little help from anywhere, until finally my health suffered and I had serious back problems.  So that was that; they had to go into care immediately because there was no one else to do what I’d been doing. I learned a lot from those years of caring and what I learned about myself and my emotions; those feelings of frustration, resentment and even anger, prompted me to want to understand more about interpersonal relationships. So I began to train... first in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, then Counselling, NLP and Meridian Energy techniques, especially EFT.  And I’ve never stopped learning, reading books... attending seminars and listening to inspirational people.  There’s so much information available; in books... Cygnus have wonderful books, magazines, such as More to Life and on the internet. I listen to audios, mainly from America, almost every day. Such inspiring people as Marianne Williamson... Barbara Marx Hubbard... Neil Donald Walsh... Bruce Lipton... Donna Eden... to name just a few. 

Q 3:    What do you feel passionate about?

I’m very passionate about helping women who feel disempowered; when they’re trapped in a situation they believe they can never escape. That’s how I feel about carers, whether they do that professionally or for someone close to home; that could be a wife, husband, child or elderly relative. They need all the help they can get and not only in practical ways.  Care work can be personally satisfying and financially rewarding, but it can also be soul-destroying. It can bring out the best and the worst in people and I have first-hand experience of this. Many women get into care work because they have no qualifications for anything else, as I did, and we’re expected to just get on with it, as we’ve always done, with no proper training or constructive advice.  I’ve been writing a book about this that addresses the emotional crises that carers have to deal with, not only in their clients, but also in themselves. 

Q 4:    What do you mean by Personal Life Process Coaching?

For years I’ve called myself a therapist because I use therapeutic techniques but now I’m focussed more on Coaching and Mentoring, because LIFE IS  A PROCESS.  I see life as a D-I-Y project; each one of us builds our own life and whether it’s a good life, well constructed, or one that’s not fit to live it, it’s an 'inside job'.  Now any coach will ask the question... ‘What do you want’... But many people have a hard job answering that because it’s easier to know what we DON’T want, when our wants, our passions and desires have so often been repressed. The energy gets blocked, we’re stuck and just can’t move on in life when we feel helpless and frustrated.  So when you know what you don’t want, but don’t know what you want... you could use some help and support to process those more disturbing and unwanted emotions and as  I’ve found EFT is one of the most effective ways of doing that, I teach every client how to use this technique so they can tap on any emotional issue at any time; it’s a great tool for first-aid.  I don’t fix anyone... what I do is take them through the process of learning how to fix themselves.

So the Life Process is all about learning about ourselves; acknowledging the things we don’t like about ourselves while  also developing all our positive qualities to find our own self-esteem and confidence... and that’s why I call it Personal  Life Process  Coaching. 

Q 5:    Can you explain how EFT works, very simply?

Emotional Freedom Techniques originated in America in the late 90’s but is now becoming well known in this country and all over the world.  EFT is based on the system of Energy Meridians known to Chinese medicine for thousands of years... which is now very familiar to us in the west through the practise of Acupuncture.  There are now several techniques based on this, EFT being one of the most easy to learn and simple to use.

Basically we use a tapping procedure that becomes second nature when practised regularly, while we engage the mind by recalling a disturbing thought, feeling or experience. As we accept the emotional disturbance we say it out loud...  “I accept this... whatever I’m feeling... I love myself anyway... and I forgive myself... for anything I may have done to contribute towards this situation... and I’d like to forgive others... for whatever they may have done... ”

That’s the basis of EFT... to ACCEPT... LOVE AND FORGIVE. 

This brings in the principles of NLP... how thoughts affect our emotions... which determines our actions and behaviour... it’s a never-ending spiral.  Here in the West we tend to think of the mind and body as being separate and we’re still learning how they each affect the other.  EFT helps bring the mind and body together and while we’re tapping on these meridian points... we’re not only re-framing the mind, the way we think about things but we’re also freeing life energy to move through the body, which allows a clearer connection to the universe... to God... Divine Source... however you feel about spirituality.  

This Personal Process approach works in a WHOlistic way... because it’s really connecting the Mind with Body and Spirit... and that’s what we all need right now to improve, not only the quality of our own lives , but of the whole world.