This is the script of my show this week on Radio Glan Clwyd and if you'd like to listen online at 2pm (BST) on Tuesdays... here's the link... http://www.rygc.co.uk/
Today I’m thinking about LETTING GO...
# Let me go... let me go lover... Dean Martin
Well, I’ll be contributing my thoughts on letting go... and what that means... in between the records... which I hope will make you smile... as you recall happy memories... because for me... MUSIC... how it becomes associated with our memories and affects our emotions... is something very special...
# "She’s leaving home"... Beatles
In the song, the girl was ready to let go... she’d long gone! But the mother and father? They didn’t even know how their daughter felt... so stuck in their rigid perceptions... how could they begin to understand about letting her go? So sad... but we all have to let go of our kids... hopefully when they’re old enough to live their own lives.. and when you can let go with love and blessings... they’ll always come back... again and again...
# "Yesterdays"... Billie Holliday
I heard this story... it’s a joke. A man falls over a cliff... don’t know what he was doing there! Anyway, his fall is broken by a small tree growing out of the rock... so he’s hanging onto this bit of wood... and he can’t climb back up... this is a sheer cliff... and he’s shouting for help... HELP ME... PLEASE GOD HELP ME... and a voice booms out from heaven... MY SON... LET GO! He looks down the sheer cliff ... it’s a long drop into the boiling sea below... there’s nothing between him and certain death! How can he trust this voice? Is it really the voice of God? So he shouts again... PLEASE HELP ME... and the voice booms out again... LET GO, MY SON. Will he just let go? Would you? So he yells again... IS ANYBODY ELSE THERE? Well... I thought its funny! How can anyone let go if they’re fearful?
# "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me," George Michael and Elton John.
When we’re fearful... we can’t trust... we can’t let go... and that can mean we’re holding onto our idea of how things ‘should’ be. We fear what might happen if we don’t behave the way we ‘should’. All those ‘should’s’ are very restricting... but if we let go our fears... we can open up to new ways of seeing and understanding each other... and that’s exciting! Beware the SHOULDS and OUGHTS of life. How do you feel when someone tells you... ‘you ought to be .... ‘ or ‘you should do this...’? I know how that makes me feel... like doing the opposite!!!
If you have fixed idea of how things ‘should’ be... sometimes you have to let go of those ideas... and never mind what anybody thinks you ‘should’ do... you have to trust your own judgement... and for that you have to face your FEARS... and when you know what your own values are... and trust your own judgement... you’ll stop ‘shoulding’ on yourself or anybody else.
# Breaking up is hard to do... Carole King
WE ALL HAVE FEARS of one sort or another... and because fear lies beneath all stress... anxiety... mental distress... and physical illness... if we can examine that fear and understand where it came from... we’ll see that it’s usually a residue of something that happened long ago... from the time we lost our special comfort blanket or teddy... or lost mummy in the supermarket... that same fear is triggered every time we lose something or someone dear to us... and we don’t know how to deal with all those emotions that threaten to overwhelm us.
So what can we do when we lose someone we love? (whether they left us... or even died...) We feel let down... abandoned... and deserted. It happens! How do we deal with the shock and all those feelings of rage and resentment... bitterness, grief and despair. How can we ever let go of the desire for revenge... on the one we once loved and thought loved us? Then again... we may be the one who’s done the letting down... and have to deal with feelings of guilt and regret. It’s not easy... But no-one said life would be easy... and we may still long for our love to come back... sometimes for too long...
# "The Party’s over"...
That's the one I wanted to play but as I couldn't find it on the system... played this one instead.
# "For all we know"... Shirley Bassey
There’s a time to hold on... and a time to let go... but d’you know how much energy it takes to hold on? That Energy can go into living a more enjoyable life! Now you may think it’s too difficult to let go those troublesome emotions... especially the fear... that keep you hooked on your problem. Would you let go... if you could? Could you let go? When will you? What... right now?
Ok... Try this...
Pick something up and hold it in your hand. Could be a pen or a coin... whatever’s handy. Imagine that it represents the problem... the fear you’ve been holding onto and hold it tight. Hold your hand out so it’s not supported. What you’re holding may be very light... but feel how heavy it becomes when you hold it like that for any length of time. Not very comfortable , is it? Right... relax... open your hand and roll the pen or coin... whatever... around on the palm of your hand. Is that object a part of you? No, of course not. Hold it loosely now and extend your hand again. If that object really represents your unwanted fear... do you want to release it and let it go? Could you if you wanted? Well... just as soon as you like... let it go... and hear it drop to the floor. How does that feel? Lighter?
# "Goodbye"... June Christy
This is one way I deal with my fears... it’s one way to LET GO those old emotions. I practise a technique known as EFT... that’s based on acupuncture points... but without needles... which always helps reduce any conflicts in the mind... and any negative emotion... because just doing the tapping helps balance the emotional energy systems of the body. If you’d like to follow along with me...
First identify ONE FEAR... whatever it is... maybe fear of losing control... from the time you wet yourself when you started school... or fear of failing... from when you couldn’t understand arithmetic and kept failing your tests... or fear of not being good enough... from when the teacher said you were stupid... or your father left home... whatever it was in your childhood... even something insignificant... something’s stuck in your mind and taken root in your body... you can feel it there, can’t you? In your gut... or in your heart... maybe your chest or throat... wherever you feel pain... or discomfort...
- Start tapping the outer edge of one hand below the little finger... with the fingertips of the other hand... taking a few deep breaths... while focussing on what you’re feeling...
- Take a deep breath ... then say out loud...
- Even though I have... this fear... maybe because of what happened when I was...
- I completely love and accept myself... as I am...
- Even though I have this fear... I am not this fear... but this fear... like an unwelcome visitor... keeps coming back... time and time again... and it’s been affecting my life for so long...
- I completely love and accept myself anyway... I’m doing the best I can...
- Even though this fear... has been stopping me getting on with life...
- I forgive myself for whatever I’ve done in my life that’s resulted in hurting myself and others. I’d like to forgive others who hurt me... even though that may not be so easy... we all do what feels right at the time... and life goes on... but I can LET GO of this fear... because whatever caused it... I can just... LET IT GO...
We tap other points as well... around the face mainly... so if you can... follow along... and begin by tapping gently between your eyebrows... while repeating... after me...
- Eye Brow.. This fear...
- Side of Eye... Maybe I can just let it go...
- Uunder Eye... This fear...
- Under Nose... It’s just a negative feeling...
- CHin... This fear...
- CB... A virus in the mind...
- UA... This fear...
- WRISTS... (Tap inside wrists together) Who needs it?...
- TOP OF HEAD... JUST LET IT GO...
Do this as often as you like... when you wake up and go to the bathroom... while taking a shower... waiting for the kettle to boil... or when you find yourself staring into space... it’s a good habit... you begin to feel easier... and the more you do this, the better you feel about yourself and the easier it is to accept, love and forgive everyone else... just try it and see...
# "Please don’t talk about me when I’m gone"... Harry Connick Jr.
All Relationships go through a process... and it’s wonderful when that process continues on and on... through the ups and downs... constantly evolving. But some relationships are short-lived for one reason or another and are maybe not meant to be forever. So if we can learn what we can from the experience and be happy to let go when the time comes... we can still look back with affection and treasure the good memories... Letting go is liberating!
# "On a clear day"... Cleo Laine
Maybe you’ve been holding onto thoughts and emotions that weigh heavy... just like the object you had in your hand... not really part of you... just an illusion... a virus of the mind... a weed in your beautiful garden. So why not let go those fears that feed the negative thoughts and feelings you’ve been holding onto for so long? You’ll feel much lighter!
# "The best is yet to come"... Mel Torme
Whatever happens to us in life... we can respond with love and gratitude... even when things seem bad... there’s always something to be grateful for... Every crisis is an invitation to LET GO... and when we let go... life becomes so much more enjoyable. We can stop worrying about what other people might or might not think about us... and learn to be our true selves... like little children again. Only responsible with it... I don’t want you to think I’m advocating unruliness! But if you’re the kind of person who takes things too seriously... if you’re desperately holding onto the past... or if you’re quick to take offence... lighten up... you know... it’s said that angels can fly... because they take things lightly!
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