Those who know about Parkinson's will commiserate, not only with me, but certainly with her, for this is a slowly debilitating disease that has no pattern. From being an active person, walking her little dog and running her beautiful house, she is now confined to her chair and sometimes has difficulty using the control that enables her to lie back, bring her feet up or sit up again. At least she has the money to employ carers, which is something many sufferers cannot afford to do.
Right now, she's had a very small amount of breakfast and is asleep again, so I'm drinking yet another cup of tea while I write a few lines. There seems to be no rhyme or reason as to how this disease affects people. Sometimes I'll find Jane walking about quite normally, but this doesn't usually last very long. More often she has spasms that lock her body into a tense rigidity and this can last much longer in varying degrees until she can relax enough to sleep again.
I've been doing this Agency Care work for many years, off and on, which has been a good way of earning money for me when I need it most. But it's not for everyone! Doing this work initially prompted me to explore ways of dealing with situations that can try anyone's patience. So I studied Psychology and took training in Hypnotherapy, Counselling and other therapies that finally enabled me to start a Practice. I love helping people find ways of dealing with their problems, whatever they may be, but in the Caring profession my training and therapeutic experience has been invaluable. Or is it the other way round? Maybe it's my experience in Caring that's enabled me to be a more compassionate Therapist?
There's no way I can 'Do Therapy' in these situations, but all the therapeutic skills that I've integrated into myself definately help me survive a week's caring as well as give some quality care to each client.
When Jane has an 'episode' and can't move, convinced that 'I'm on my way out' to quote her, by gently suggesting to her... 'It's Ok... it will pass... it always does... you're doing alright... just go with it.. let it flow over you... let it pass over... and before you know it, you're fine again.' When I can, I hold her hand and gently tap on my hand while I'm saying this, as in EFT, which I hope helps to calm her down. Anyway, after a sleep, she often wakes up feeling OK, so I trust it's doing something useful.
As a carer, I've often felt frustrated and been upset by the anger and depair of those too old, disabled or infirm to lead the lives they used to, but have learned not to take anything personally. My desire is to help other carers who struggle to keep sane in trying situations. Really it's all a matter of perception and attitude. I've learned that by getting to a point of acceptance even though a situation or illness can be desperate, which for most people is the most difficult thing to do, one can achieve a different viewpoint, even leading to peace.
4 comments:
I learned a lot by reading this entry, actually. It gave me another perspective. Thanks! I miss you terribly and can't wait to see ya!
I miss you too slim buddy! Thanks for reading my blog xxxxxxx
Thanks for sharing this "inner" journey -- I found it touching, especially as I have weekly visits from 2 carers: an RN who does my weekly blood draw that enables fine-tuning medicine dosages if needed; and a woman who does the rigorous housekeeping chores (vacumming, taking out the garbage, and such) that are too taxing for me to do with my compromised heart/lungs. I am sooo grateful for their caring support.
And yes, I agree with you -- when physical and mental abilities narrow, due to age or illness or both, we care receivers do come face to face with how we will respond. It helps to have a wise care giver, one who both understands why we might feel angry, disoriented, and/or depressed, and who is able to detach, in a loving way, while still giving the support we need.
EFT is sooo good, as it taps into the underlying emotions that affect our behavior. How lovely to hear how you've applied it to your current situation!
Thanks for that Catherine, glad you're getting the help you need. I'm so grateful for EFT as it always helps, even though the recipient may not even be aware of it.
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